Hey, My name is Aubrey.
A little bit first, about who I was. I used to play bass for a lot of rock bands - “Moksha”(1 of India’s BIGGEST rock bands) and “Garage Monsters Inc.” to name a couple. I’ve been playing music for almost 10 years now.
I have played on a John Myung model six string bass in front of John Myung(Dream Theater bassist, if you didn’t know). I have played in front of crowds of over 8000 people and shows that have lasted almost 3 hours. I have lived the “rockstar” lifestyle of “rebellion” to the fullest man. The ALL-ABOUT-ME attitude, the idea of being some kind of a god and be worshipped while on stage, the money, the people, the music, all of it !!
Most of you probably don’t really know what ROCK is all about, unless you are, or have been a Rock musician yourself. Just like you probably don’t know what being a doctor is like, unless you’ve been in an operating theater with a surgical knife in your hand and someone’s chest lying sliced open in front of you. Try touring with a band, maybe you’ll understand a little more about what “rock” is all about. I sang what I felt. I sang what others felt. I wrote songs on almost everything under the sun.
I didn’t know God, and I didn’t really care. I too believed and still believe that religion is something man-made something not natural and something that needs to be dispensed with.
In September 2004, I came into a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ. That’s when I found what Christianity really is - not a “religion” but a relationship with Christ. A relationship that changed my life. A relationship that gave me a reason to live. A relationship that gave my music a purpose. You see, through EIGHT long years of playing music, man - I never found satisfaction. It was NEVER enough. And I KNOW that other musicians don’t find it either.
Music, esp. rock, becomes an escape, becomes something that makes you wanna believe you’re free, when in fact you’re actually in bondage. Rock music becomes like virtual reality. Something that makes you believe that your life is better than it actually is. That’s all fine. But there are times, when everything comes crashing down, and then you realize that you’re headed nowhere. That’s where I was. In my own little vitual world. And then Christ entered my life, and music began to take on a new meaning.
At times I believed that as a born again Christian, I would influence the rock world with my beliefs and values. That playing for Moksha, I would stand as a witness for Christ to the thousands who attended our concerts.
In June 2005 I went on a camp to a place called “CharralKunnu” (Pebble mount in English) and met a group of guys called “Parra” (ROCK in English). And then I found out that you can’t stand as a witness for Jesus, singing songs that contradict what Jesus stands for. I also found that you can’t serve the Lord, the Living God of all creation while singing for the devil. But I still wanted an answer directly from the Lord Himself. From the One who gave me life and made me whole. You must know that I was a new believer, and didn’t know or experience anything supernatural up until that point.
I knew Jesus died for me, rose for me and that I would see Him in all His glory in heaven because I had accepted Him as my Lord and personal Saviour and was in a relationship with Him. That was it. As for the supernatural “LA-LA stuff“, I thought it was definitely not for me. I was asking Him questions and didn’t seem to be getting answers. On the last night of The Parra Camp 2005, Friday, June 25th, we had a powerful time of worshipping the living God, where we were singing, dancing and making melody in our hearts to Him. It was joyous and wonderful, but there were still questions in my mind. As we sang our hearts out to God, as the moments of worship grew more intense, I found myself standing there with my arms in the air in absolute surrender to God’s power… crying, weeping like never before. Tears rolling down my face and my heart just absolutely on fire. And as I stood, I was singing out my own song to Jesus. Crying out His name, and crying out for Him to reveal to me His purpose for me. Asking Him how it was that He could love me SO much, SO much that He would be crucified for me, SO much that He would carry all my sin and pay for it, SO much that He knows my name and every hair on my head, HIM - the Creator of heavens and earth, love ME and know ME personally, someone who never even acknowledged Him before, a sinner and a pathetic one too. It was amazing. And all of a sudden I felt this great power just bring me down to my knees. It was not a conscious act of kneeling down, No, it was more than that, it was the power of the presence of the Lord just bringing me down to my knees. I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t. And I was laughing, like crazy, with tears still running down my face.
Even as I write this, I am reminded of Job 8:21 which says “He fills your mouth with laughter, and your lips with rejoicing.” And then, after the weeping, after the laughter, I opened my mouth and sang out to Him, “Take me Jesus, take me! I am yours. Tell me where You want me to go, what You want me to do, tell me who You want me to be! Tell me Lord, I am ready”. Something amazing happened just then. As I knelt there, just encompassed in His awesome, loving, powerful presence, I opened my mouth to sing the next song - (yes, all of this was happening while the worship band was still playing and while most people around me were just standing happily) I opened my mouth to sing and there were no words. I felt like something was reaching inside me and pulling out something from deep inside my torso. I couldn’t sing, I couldn’t shout and I couldn’t speak. It was like I was mute. I felt like I was going to explode. My eyes were shut tight and every time I opened them, I could see His light. The Holy Spirit was right there, all around me. And later, I knew why He made me silent. Psalm 46:10 - “Be still, and know that I am God!” was what the Lord was saying. He wanted to tell me something. So there I was, Aubrey Sequeira, almost 22 years of age, on my knees, arms in the air, completely silent, and experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit of God. Being baptized in His Spirit. All time seemed to stand still. And all of a sudden, a pastor named Smokie, whom I hardly knew, placed his hand on my back and said “Aubrey, the Lord says this, Do not be afraid, I will never leave you nor forsake you. I know you even before you were born and I have chosen you. I have a purpose for you. I want you to use all your gifts and talents that I have given you, to glorify Me and only Me, and I will honour You. I will use you to glorify My Name.” Pastor Smokie then prayed for me and took his hand of my trembling back. I got on my feet, with my voice back and went around the room just hugging people, sharing the love I had just experienced. I felt like I was on fire, and oh yes I was… His fire burning inside me. I later thought I had been that way for a few minutes,, but people told me it was a long, long time. I knew that my life had a purpose. I also knew that I had to consecrate my music for Jesus. And that’s what I did. I quit Moksha and Garage Monsters Inc. and the secular music world on June 26th 2005, upon returning to my home in Chennai. And Jesus was with me through it all, making every crooked path straight, comforting me with His grace, and standing by my side as people called me crazy. It was amazing.
And then I found what “free spirit” really meant. And then I found where “passion”, “freedom”, and “free of constraints” really found their meaning. At the Cross of Christ. You see, Christ died for you and me to have freedom. And He rose for you and me to live in that freedom. I’m living in it now, brothers and sisters, as I write this. Not living in “rebellion”, but living in freedom, in oneness with the One who created music for me to play - the Lord Almighty. Not living “the way society or people or rules or conventions teach me”, but living the way you and I were made to live. In fellowship with Him that made us. Now I’m not rocking for nothing, but I am rocking for THE ROCK! The Rock of Ages - Christ Jesus the King. AND OH MY LORD IT IS SO SATISFYING. IT IS SO LIBERATING. IT IS LIKE NOTHING YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. WHAT A JOY TO LIVE IN VICTORY. IN VICTORY OVER ALL THE CHAINS THAT BIND. WHAT A JOY TO KNOW WHO I’M PLAYING MUSIC FOR! You wanna talk about freedom ?? - I’m telling you, that you don’t know what “freedom” really means UNTIL you know Jesus. ‘Cause singing a praise song to Him along with even 10 people, is more liberating, more edifying, more satisfying, more exciting than playing in front of 5000 people who worship you. I earlier mentioned that I had sang about “everything under the sun“. A wise man, once said “Everthing under the sun is meaningless, and it is all a chasing after the wind.” (King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes). And now, I’m living with meaning. Not chasing after the wind, but living with and for HIM that made the sun and the wind and all things.
There are quite a few who have learnt this truth and turned to Christ, giving their music to Him, while there are almost no transitions the other way around. Because these people have understood what rock music was created for. Not for petty things like “teenage defiance”, but something far greater than that - for giving back to the Lord what He hath given to us - the gift of music. The gift of Rock music. Let me quote the words of Head(Brian Welch - ex guitarist of KORN):
“I’ve done hard drugs, I’ve done soft drugs. I’ve seen everything. I’ve done what teenagers dream about, especially guys. I’ve seen all that, and no drug or nothing compares with walking with the Lord.”
Jesus loves you too, my friend. He died for you and rose again for you. And you can know that love, if you choose to. I will pray that your eyes might be opened for you to know the love that surpasses knowledge. And know what it is to live in true freedom. And know what it means to be alive in Spirit.
God Bless you,
Aubrey
